I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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