If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my sisters under your porch take her home
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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