I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
