I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
