hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
