piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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