AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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