I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
