I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
