The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
