He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
