so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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