u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
