yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
