Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
