guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
