3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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