Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
