Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
