When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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