Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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