Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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