haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
