We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
