I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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