Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
