he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
