I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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