suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
