She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
