he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
