Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You pole danced in your parka.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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