i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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