shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
