Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
