just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
