Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
