But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
