I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
