Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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