is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
