Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
