i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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