if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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