hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
