I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
