Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
