Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
