i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
