Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
