Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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