on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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