We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
