Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Randomize
