but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
